April 24, 2006

Con air

What is with the air-conditioning here? One has spent much of last week in a state of partial popsiculation owing to the fact that the A/C* at the office is set to temperatures that only an unusually hardy polar bear could appreciate. One observes that that the hotter the general climate of a place, the lower the temperature to which its A/Cs are set. It’s as if they want to compensate for the swelter outside by ensuring that a chap’s bloodstream is at least thinly glaciated when he leaves a building.

Now one steps into and out of several buildings during the course of a typical day**. And it has been noted that this freezing-one-minute-boiling-the-next business confuses the One’s otherwise faultless hypothalamus, invariably resulting in the Sniffles. Yes. The One, people, is currently wheezing like Thomas the Tank Engine at his phlegmiest. Some people have blamed a) one's immune system and b) one's dietary habits for this state of affairs, but their arguments hold no water because a) one has sat through a screening of Salman Khan’s Har Dil Jo Pyar Karega followed by a full-throated group rendition of Remo Fernandes’ O meri munni *** without any noticeable ill effects and b) one has none to speak of.

Anyway, the tragedy is that one has had to make Arrangements, at great personal expense, for a fine jacket to be sent all the way from home. (Not that jackets aren’t available here, it’s just that one gets disturbingly attached to old clothes.) To Singapore, where you know it’s a cold wave if you don’t find yourself dehydrated on your way down to the bus stop.

Such, as one never tires of pointing out, is life.


* It seems that the thing is called an aircon here, as opposed to an A/C. Yup. Ain’t that, like, a totally life-enriching nugget of info.

** It’s not something one sets out to do, in case you’re wondering. It just happens.

*** One recalls he quite outdid himself the very next line by going
“Munni munni bay-beh”.

24 comments :

Casablanca said...

Clearly, the acclimatization period is quite long for The One, otherwise for someone who is full of 'hot air' as he claims to be, he should be quite confortable with aircon winters of Singapore :)

One in a Billion said...

Casa: You be entirely correct, you know - one finds this acclimatization extremely difficult. And it's not just the spelling either.

Someone who reads the One said...

es es, very embracing it is to carry warm things into office at 40 degrees C but it has been done. But how to deal with this in and out of buildings problem? Let us get back to you.

The Regular Joe said...

Doesnt One have hot colleagues of the other sex who exude warmth?

One in a Billion said...

SWRTO: Es es, very embracing indeed. But we shall wait, of course, for you to get back to us.

Regular Joe: Aaarrgh. You have touched a raw nerve, for the answer is, well, no. Tragic it is, truly tragic. Sigh.

Primalsoup said...

The cold and sniffles can't be too bad, if you get a nice husky voice because of it! But wait, no hot colleagues also to subject it on. Oh, dear!

The Regular Joe said...

Tragic indeed! For the humble joe had been,thus far,picturing One as the casanova type of guy having buxom babes drooling over him, rivetted to his high intellect.

One in a Billion said...

Primalsoup: Husky? Er .. yes, of course. Husky voice. Yup.

*Murmurs prayer of thanks for blogs being a text-only medium*

Regular Joe: Okay, now that's called "rubbing it in".

Teleute said...

hnoto pe lipstick gaalo mein rouge
catwalk kare pehne high heel shoes
disco mein jaaye aana chahe der raat
tujhe ghar hona chahiye barbie doll ke saath


Utterly brilliant song, that. :D

One in a Billion said...

Teleute: It is, isn't it? You know, one believed for the longest time that he said bhabhiyon ke saath instead of barbie doll ke saath. And it fitted right in, too.

scout said...

oooh I remember that song.. props for that eh?
That apart, Har Dil Jo Pyar Karega? Bleh. One remembers taking part in a talent show with friends dancing to 'Piya Piya'... with the trademark move too... I forget what it was though.

Nice blog, btw.

One in a Billion said...

Scout: Thank you. Yes, Piya Piya was unique .. but it paled in comparison to Sahiba Sahiba, which, you may remember, had Salman Khan shouting "Why this happens to me?!"

Casablanca said...

Aircon winters are certainly not good. They seem to have driven The One into hibernation.

Aditi said...

hehe..
seems like the freeze problem is common everywhere...
are you actually going to get a jacket sent from india to singapore???
myself, quite amazed, as my folks refuse to send me stuff even from pune to ahmedabad...
how does one manage to convince folks?

LAK said...

All sympathies. I got the flu twice because of this in-and-out-of AC business. In those days(!)only computer labs had AC(apart from movie theatres)and I had to traipse in and out finishing an end-of-semester project.We used to get only one hour at a time at the computer terminal.

shakester said...

yikes, tell me about it. "Aih-coh" (air con) is gods great gift to singapore ( I am told a former PM called it one of the greatest inventions ever), and they intens to use it like its going out of fashion. My office there are tons of people who have jackets, but things are better now. F or a time I wore a sweatshort- and I like the cold

shakester said...

er...sweatshirt

Nessa said...

Has the jacket come yet?

One in a Billion said...

Casa: No, no. Just resting. Will post soon. You, on the other hand ..

Aditi: Yes, actually. One is very good at persuading the folks, you know .. a few extra sniffs and coughs over the phone, and all sorts of long-forgotten winter clothing seems to show up at the door.

LAK: Ah, the computer lab, yes, one remembers now. That was another troublesome place. We were even made to take off our shoes before entering so our feet could freeze properly.

Shakester: Ah. With such endorsement, it's no wonder they use the aih-coh like that.

And thanks for the clarification - one was worried there, for a bit.

Nessa: Yes, it has. And the woolly scarf. One gets strange looks at the office, but, well, one used to get them before too.

A said...

A few extra sniffs and coughs is all it takes?? Would be tempted to say that such a one is a bit spoilt, you know:)

Kidding :) Is the effect of Mumbai local trains in hot May :D

Deepali said...

*taps foot impatiently*

New post please else I'll begin to wonder if icicles have formed on the One for only such would be considered a valid excuse :P

:D

Nessa said...

*the anonymous* extends arms of sympathy for the One.. The looks, I'm sure the One can deal with :)

One in a Billion said...

A: You be entirely correct, actually. One is terribly spoilt. And now you have gone and reminded one of Mumbai trains. The sounds, the very smells. Sigh.

Dee: *brushes icicles off*

Nessa: Oh, of course. Not to worry. Dealing with strange looks has become second nature to the One.

Teleute said...

I used to think dadiyon ke saath before I realised what the correct kyrics were. :D