April 10, 2006

Dreaming on ..

One had almost but forgot,
And one is sure you would agree:
‘Tis time this little bloggy got
Its monthly dose of poetry.

Our Dee chose to tag the One
Which really, truly means a lot.
(Even if she chose to tag us
Almost as an afterthought.

The Tag, in essence, does profess
That one should make a list (much glee!)
Of things a lady must possess
For us to feel “that chemistry”.

So one shall stand up straight and tall
A lengthy list one shall unfurl;
A list that we shall choose to call
“What One Might Look For In A Girl”:

A happy little thing she’d be,
Her constitution should contain
A statement that does plain decree
That stars are but God’s daisy chain.

Her intellect, it must be great
And of the mathematic kind;
She might, for instance, calculate
The sine of theta (in her mind).

And Locke and Kant and Hume and Mill
She must have dissected apart.
(For one has never read them still
And now one really needs to start.)

She shan’t be easily distraught
And tolerant she must be too
(For living with the One is not
A very easy thing to do.)

The moon itself she should eclipse;
And for her face to make the grade
It should launch but a thousand ships
(Despite that being a bit clichéd.)

Skin-deep beauty’s well and good
She should, of course, have much much more:
Yes, subcutaneous pulchritude should
Ooze out of her every pore.

The things that one might choose to write
She must with ardent interest read
(If she can praise one’s poetry
That would be wonderful indeed.)

If such a someone one does find
Then one shall go down on one knee
Pronounce the Last Great Pick-Up Line:
Ma’am, will you make friendship with me?


Deepali said...

*Deepali stands up to clap loudly with a huge smile on her face*


Casablanca said...

Armed with a brilliant, exhaustive list
And a deadly pickup line (might I add)
The One seems set to conquer hearts
(‘Coz conquering the world, isn’t a fad).

The One, no one would ever dare to mock
Yet I’ll say this: a mathematical poetess
As the One describes, does remind me,
Of my old, primary school head mistress.

shakester said...

ah...much fun aiiee sayhh

apu said...

Hyuhh hyuhh hyuhh haa haa haa haa haa heee heee haaa haa *more laughter follows*

the Monk said...

The pertinent question here, of course, is whether she can calculate the sine of any theta in her mind. If she can, then you'll have competition.

Aapki D said...

yes *blush*

LAK said...

"Woh pari kahan se laaoon,
Teri dulhan jise baanaoon,
Ke gori koi pasand na aaye tujhko,
Ke gori koi pasand na aaye tujhko,"
So we have to hunt for Madeleine Bassett-cum-Madame Curie-cum-Angelina Jolie/Ash/CZT(????)
The Madeleine Bassett school of thought also believes that "Each time a fairy blows its wee nose a baby is born"!

One in a Billion said...

Dee: *bows*


This headmistress that you describe,
(He cannot help remark)
You think we might share that vibe
That empathy, that spark?

You think we could meet? Maybe
She’ll set one’s heart ablaze.
(This older woman thing, you see,
Is quite common these days!)

Shakester: Many thanks, saar!

Apu: *bows deeper*

Monk: Ah, but the One has never shied away from competition – any given theta. ‘Tis merely a matter of evaluating the series expansion, no? *and he returns to consulting a cleverly-hidden calculator*

Aapki D: Er .. sine of pi, please .. ;)

LAK: You have interpreted the One exactly, of course. ‘Tis a tall order .. lekin .. aa hi jaata hai jispe dil aana hota hai!

Srihari said...

"The things that one might choose to write,
She must with ardent interest read,
(If she can praise one’s poetry
That would be wonderful indeed.)"

If the One can leave out the sines and the sums,
And still spew out such wonderful poems,
She will sure read them all and shower encomiums,
And perhaps,even the odd 800-page tomes.

Anjali said...

God's daisy chain? As in Basset?
I must confess that my respect
For One's genius is now unbound
For hitting upon a truth so sound.

For knowledge of the sine of theta
(Said I, struggling with rhyme and metre)
Reveals the angles, with precision,
Between the stars. And calculation

Of these to yield God's daisy chain
Is easy work for one who knows
Her sine from her tan and cos
One's a genius, I say again

Jasmine said...

Subcutaneous pulchritude! What brilliance, Oh Mighty One! Incidentally, since I satisfy four out of seven, I know go forth to conquer Kant, Locke etc.

Primalsoup said...

Mathematic intellect?? Sheesh.

One in a Billion said...


Thank you, S.J., thanks a lot,
‘Tis kind of you indeed.
(Although one finds long tomes somewhat
Frightening to read!)


A suitable reply, one finds
One cannot quite provide –
That train of thought does leave one’s mind
Quite utterly tongue-tied!

Jasmine: Ah yes, one only did seven points .. one was supposed to do eight, one recalls. Aarrgh! So much for mathematics.

Well, eighth point : she should be reasonably introverted ;)

Primalsoup: So the kids don't pester the One with homework-related matters. You wouldn't believe how tough they've made CBSE maths these days.

LAK said...

aaargh, too late have I been enlightened! When a Martian admires a mathematically inclined Venusian, he is not admiring her per se, but sending up silent thanx for taking the kids' coaching off his shoulders!*sad droop of Venusian's shoulders*

Camphor said...

Brilliant poem. Now, I shall have to tell you with great pain that a list like that condemns you to painful singleness. No, wait, can you imagine having a woman who can do maths in her head, AND admire poetry, AND know Kant
AND be beautiful? (not to mention being able to spell.) That would be painful in the extreme too, I imagine.

Kidding. :D

Casablanca said...

Not that its in my place to ask, but we have got quite addicted to weekly doses of The One, and want to know what keeps him away from his blog this weekend. We promise to bribe the one with dates with the headmistress and all that.

One in a Billion said...

LAK: Well, sorry to have to break it to you ;)

Camphor: Well, you do have a point. But one never said she needed to be able to spell ..

Casa: With an incentive like that, how could one refuse to post?

A said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
A said...

Wouldn't a 'Your' instead of a 'You're' pinch, though?? Or a 'There' instead of a 'Their'??

Oh, and I'd put you down as a stickler for the correctness of the written word..


One in a Billion said...

A: Hmm .. you're (notice - you're) right, you know. It would pinch.

And thank you! Yes, one does tend to be rather particular about those things :)

Drops Of Jupiter said...

If this Ms.Right's resume is so well articulated, the Jups cannot fathom how far Ms.Right would swoon when the One woos her with even more generous doses of poetry..

One in a Billion said...

Jupiter: Ah, but one cannot do poems of the mushy sort (one presumes that those are the only kind that are swooned over).

One tries to do them sometimes, but they all come out sounding like, well, this.

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