November 25, 2005

Gujjus unite!

One is in a Bad Mood. In fact, one is in Intense Pain.

One is Dismayed, nay Crestfallen, to see that this veritable repository of phillum-related things has no information whatsoever on the ravishing Roma Manek. (For the uninitiated, Roma Manek is the (the) Madhuri Dixit of Gujarati cinema. Her eyes are said to be the colour of fresh undhiyu, and her nose is said to resemble a perfect little ganthiya. The very mention of her name is known to have persuaded NRI Gujjubhais to shut cornershop and head home.)

This, ladies and gentlemen, is part of a wider gripe regarding the under-representation of Gujaratis in cyberspace*. One’s Gujju chromosomes (all twenty-three of them) cry out – yes, they cry out in synchronized deoxyribonucleic protest. One refuses to believe that the sturdy Shahs of Surendranagar and the fine Patels of Patan have nothing to say about Matters. But the gentle reader does not hear them. No. The gentle reader is being drowned – aye, drowned – in a cacophony of voluble Bangla, in the staccato rhythms of rapidly-articulated Tamizh (note the zh .. one is very particular about such things, you know ..) and in the occasional outburst of Gultspeak. Come, O denizens of Saurashtra and Kathiawad, O natives of Kutch, O fellow Gujjus from all walks of life and all corners of the globe! It matters not whether you own a shop or a motel .. we are all one beeg phemily! Let us forge a blogospheric identity for ourselves! Let us impress upon people that we are a force to be reckoned with!

Er .. it makes good business sense, you know.

* which, in turn, is part of a wider gripe regarding the correct way to twirl a dandiya. But we shall let that pass for now.


SV said...

drowned in a cacophony of voluble Bangla
aye, most truly, it is true. Soon the rest of us will have to learn the language in sheer self defence.

Aditi said...

This inspires me to watch some gujju cinema! :))

One in a Billion said...

SV : Shotti, shotti. Ami (ek?) already on learning curve.

Aditi : Ah, the enthusiasm! The heartwarming eagerness! *wipes tears of joy*

Allow one to recommend the evergreen Mahiyar Ma Manadu Nathi Laagtu ("No Enjoyment At In-Laws' Place"). A life-transforming experience, if ever there was one.

Anjali said...

Ah, the famed M3NL ... yes, that has always been a favourite. Would One know where I might procure a subtitled copy? Not that the visual impact of this wonderous creation is not stunning in itself. But One, being familiar with the joys of this movie, would understand the longing to savour every bit of the dialogue as well.

Aditya Bidikar said...

One must realise that them that we consider gods are also human. IMDb is but a repository of information - bound to fail sometime.

One in a Billion said...

Anjali : *tears of joy continue unabated* Ah yes! The Gujju film, despite those customarily breathtaking visuals you have so hearteningly appreciated, is indeed nothing without its dialogues! And, if one may add, the subtitles (if the viewer can decipher them) have a charm of their own.

If a subtitled copy of the film happens to come one’s way, you shall be the first to know. You have one's solemn word.

And .. er .. if one may be blunt, we do not acronymize our film-names. That’s so .. *look of extreme distaste* Bollywood.

Aditya : Of course, amigo. It would have been entirely forgivable had they forgotten to add, say, the complete filmography of Tusshar Kapoor. But they chose instead to omit the biodata of the aforementioned Seductress of Surat. Discrimination!

One shall now disclose the latest Useless Fact to have come to one’s attention (incidentally as a result of looking at the filmography of Tusshar Kapoor). It seems that the 2003 suspense thriller Kucch To Hai was released internationally under the singularly charismatic title There Must Be Something.

the Monk said...

M3NL,?damn, sorry...i'll try and get my hands on the movie...and Roma Manek, is it? do i really need to watch any of her movies?i mean, an MMS clip would do just as well, and would, uh, better reveal her offence, just kiddin...i notice that not many of ur gujju brethren have commented..

One in a Billion said...

Monk : Yeah, the fact that not many of one’s kin have commented proves precisely what one was trying to say about there not being too many of them around. Of course, it also indicates that this blog enjoys limited popularity. Oh well.

babelfish said...

drowned in a cacophony of voluble Bangla

*raised eyebrows*


*cold voice*

Perhaps the one is no longer appreciative of the bengali bloggers?

One in a Billion said...

Erm .. no, no .. nothing like that, O Fish .. euphony that should have been, of course. Bhalo-bhalo sound.

*feeble attempt to bat eyelashes in true Babelfish style*

Anjali said...

Oh drat.

*shrinks shamefacedly into corner, head covered with paper bag*

So much for my attempt at being cool by showing off my knowledge of Bollywood lingo. Little did I realize that Golly!wood (is that the correct descriptor of the illustrious industry to which Roma Manek belongs?) operates with quite a different set of rules.

Deepest apologies, will never again acronymize Golly!wood names.

Twilight Fairy said...

roma? aajkal siraf monica bedi chaltee hai :)

One in a Billion said...

Anjali : Hmm. One shall accept the apologies, if only because of your kind and entirely accurate first comment. And Gollywood is, one feels, acceptable. Without the exclamation mark, note. Entirely too frivolous for our tastes.

Fairyji : Humare blaug pe aapko ek baar phir dekha. Anand hua. Keval itna bolenge ki Romaji aur Monicaji ke beech to koi comparison hi nahin ho sakta.

Dee said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...

I pestered my Gujju friends to show me some Gujju movies but they gave me this reason for a no: there hasn't been a new gujju movie in YEARS apparently.

Jhuth! Jhuth!

I didn't believe them of course. wherever can I find these gujju movies you speak of??? A quick search through limewire etc didn't yield any results [as expected].

And thank you very much for the kind compliments on my blog :)

One in a Billion said...

Dee : You are absolutely right - Gollywood info is very hard to find online. (It is all a conspiracy, of course.)

But this blog shall try to keep folks informed about future releases. And there will be many, whatever your friends might say.

Drops Of Jupiter said...

You make this Roma female sound like a veritable pot-pie..I'm pretty sure no woman wants her nose likened to a ganthiya!!

And you can't dandiya?
(I'm using it as a verb.. a la "it's the time 'to disco'")

And now I want some undhiyu..the gujju chef near my place makes pakka surat nu undhiyu, but its a very rare event..ugh.. what do i do!!