November 18, 2005

'Tis the season of web-quizzes

“Know thyself” – inscribed at the entrance to the temple of Apollo at Delphi

One figured that one was lagging somewhat in the nosce-ipsum department. The past few hours have been spent in an attempt to rectify matters - and a truly heady voyage of self-discovery it has been.

One now stands enlightened on critical issues like which Final Fantasy character one happens to be (Tidus the Great, if anyone cares), which rejected crayon best matches one’s personality (a brown one), which original Skittles colour one is (green), whether one is a nerd, a geek or a dork (a geek, evidently, although the differences in meaning are too subtle for one’s limited grasp) and whether one conforms to this young Californian lady’s notion of a boyfriend (at the end of a particularly gruelling quizathon chock-full of difficult questions like “Would you describe yourself as hot?” she declared that one was “okay”. Disturbing.)

One has been told that one is 70% weird and, intriguingly, 45% normal. And a “little” scary. In one’s previous life, it seems, one was a mute and mentally unbalanced mathematician. One seems to get raw deals every time.

One has been reliably informed that one will spawn 71,710 descendants over the next thirty-two generations, which is rather spiffing, and also that this places one at the lower end of the genetic-fitness spectrum, which is not. It is helpfully mentioned that the reason for the poor score is that one is the pious type and will not sacrifice scruples in a misguided quest to scatter his genes far and wide. Hah. It’s quite easy to fool these quizzes, you know. Let’s see ... what was that Californian chick’s name again …

12 comments :

Tara said...

funny, funny, funny!

sinusoidally said...

Ha ha! Maybe you would have to be some kind of hundreds of eggs laying species to reach that number!

babelfish said...

*inconsequential observation*...the one does not seem to recollect the outcome of Oedipus following the Delphic Oracle's advice...and my lasting obssesion with Sophocles is on display again :D

One in a Billion said...

Tara : Thanks. It had better be, considering how hard one tried.

Sines : Actually, a brief calculation shows that having about one-and-a-half children per couple, on average, would be sufficient.

And one is most miffed at being referred to as an "egg-laying species".

Babel : *opens Wikipedia discreetly in new window* Ah yes, of course, you speak of the unfortunate son of Laius and Jocasta .. a truly tragic tale, that.
Ahem .. yes, one has never mentioned how deeply the Theban tales of Sophocles affected one when one read them in the original Greek at age nine, immediately after finishing with Proust.

babelfish said...

question : did One also read Proust in the original greek?

the Monk said...

man, i know..i've done like a million myself...but sometimes they're fun...when the questions are funny...great post...funny...

Accidental Fame Junkie said...

In one of those quizzes, I was declared 60% neurotic! Whatever that is!

One in a Billion said...

Babel : *roars* Not many, O Fish, have been known to mock the One and get away with it! Do you think one is unaware that Proust was Norwegian?

Monk : Thank you, comrade. Hope to see you around.

Junkie : Yeah, one remembers coming across that one too .. far from sublime, no? :)

babelfish said...

Granted The One did not know that Sophocles wrote the Theban plays originally in Hebrew, you might as well stop roaring, O One !

One in a Billion said...

Oh .. so that's why it was all Greek to one's young eyes.

BlueSummerNights said...

Proust was French, not Norwegian. Is One thinking of Roald Dahl, perchance?

One in a Billion said...

BlueSummerNights: Er .. 'twas a joke.